This will be a short one; I’m still at home, and I haven’t done a thing about getting dressed for school. But, my school’s stupid-blocking-system I mentioned a few posts ago has discovered wordpress, I think, and will not allow you to log in to wordpress…so I haven’t been able to post there in days.

A good friend of mine has introduced me to a new band, The Veronicas — which yes, I know, are not technically new, but they’re new to me. I am usually biased toward lead female singers, because of their tendencies to whine the lyrics, but all of  t.V.’s songs aren’t like that, so I can appreciate them.

I played my piano for that international friend of mine for the first time, and I was nervous as hell, but he didn’t laugh at me…so we’re good (: I am self-conscious about my playing, because I don’t even begin to compare to some other pianists I know, or know of.

Anyway, school beckons.
I may come back and post on here after school.

Work tomorrow. Bah.
(: Goodmorning, wordpress.


Papagaio (:

I still don’t know WHY anyone reads this blog — and trust me, there aren’t many of you out  there — but to those of you who do, I feel kind of grateful. And a little embarassed that you must hear the majority my mispelled venting. I try not to bitch and complain in my everyday life, but on wordpress? Yeeeeah buddy, do I complain. & that’s okay.

I have a — well, now two — friend(s) from a major city in Brazil. I’ve known him for …months now, I think, but I’m just blogging about him now because he hadn’t started impacting my life very much. But thanks to my mother’s generousity and patience with me, the new computer that I bought myself (using her credit) has the program Skype on it — a brilliant, usually wonderful technological program. It allows you to “call” or “video call” any computer around the world, for free. You can also call telephones, but that costs $$$. Not much, but it’s still money.

& since I discovered the wonder that is Skype, I have been talking to Raph. That’s his nickname, Raph. Her name, who I only met tonight, is Bianca; & she’s a real sweetheart.

Raph is this dark-haired, funny, intelligent college boy that I met through Twitter’s “#nowplaying” trending topic, and I love talking to him. As I’ve told you before, wordpress, I have a …thing for accents. And this man’s accent? Oi. Combine that with the three different languages he knows other than English, and we have an Amanda-puddle. (: One of my friends has talked to him since, on Skype audio three-way, but no one has videochatted him except me.

Now that is a strange experience. You can see a little window of yourself, but you mainly see that person; and depending on the quality of their computer and how loudly they’re speaking, you can sometimes hear them crystal clear or not at all. Most of the time I can hear him perfectly, but sometimes I just guess at what he’s saying.

Portuguese is a complicated, albeit beautiful language — & it’s his natural tongue. Slowly but surely, he is trying to teach me phrases in Portuguese, like hello/goodbye, goodmorning/goodnight, mother, father, college, parrot (ahaha), etc.

I don’t see what he gets out of the conversation by talking to me, but for some reason he hasn’t run away screaming yet, and he’s seen me without makeup. Haha. (:  I adore this kid, as a great buddy, though the attraction factor is indefinitely there. It just won’t go away, and I’m not so sure I want it to. I mean, c’mon, are you going to pass up a hot Irish-Braziliah 19 year-old college student who can roll his R’s & who laughs like an adorable five year old? Nope. :] I’ll take his friendship if that’s all I can have.

Bianca is a super sweet friend of his that I talked to briefly today. She is slightly older than him, 20, and her English-speaking is a little less advanced than his, but not by too much. The three of us talking out loud in that chat room this evening was one fun experience.

He’s talking about visiting the U.S. sometime next year, though I’m not sure exactly when. He’ll stay in New York, New York for the first week or so, and then come down to Atlanta for…something like 11 days. My goal is to either have or be working towards my own apartment by then, and I’ve offered both him and Bianca a place to stay once they get to Atlanta. Stranger-danger be damned, these two are just people you trust right off the back, because of how honest and kind they really are. It’s like “no shit?”, put in layman’s terms.

I have to go to bed now, it’s 1am& I get up in 6 hours for school (early >.<), but I wanted to let wordpress know about a little important subject in my life right now. Who knows — might get more, might get less –, but I’m enjoying it for now. Viva la vida.

Remember Me.


Who else saw the movie? Remember Me, starting Emile de Ravin & Robert Pattinson?

It was breathtaking, and exceeded all my expectations by a mile. One thing about this movie that also succeeded: Robert breaking out of his “vampire” role. Sure, he has acted in other movies like Harry Potter’s Goblet of Fire, and even stared in his own movie “Little Ashes”, but this movie was right in the mainstream, advertised everywhere, with a big company (Summit Ent.) backing it.

And he pulled it off like a champ 🙂 Kudos Rob, kudos.

I’ll admit, I am an Edward Cullen fan first and foremost, and I have tried with much of my power to keep my adoration for the character from influencing my interest in “Mr. Pattinson”.  I don’t believe the two worlds should mingle off-screen — I know a few people who wouldn’t agree to that, and that’s fine. But Robert was astounding in this movie; when I watched it I didn’t see “Edward” or even “Robert Pattinson”. I saw Tyler.  That shows how extensive his acting was, and how engrossed I got in the movie.

I won’t give any spoilers on this blog or anywhere else, but I will say that the unexpected ending just made the movie that more enjoyable as a whole. Okay, maybe not enjoyable, because of the emotional impact it tolls, but an ending is an ending, and we have to accept (as viewers, and fans of the movie) that the director and the writer of the script knew how the story had to come to a close. It fit everything together, a synopsis of all the characters’ worlds, and finally came to a powerful end.

Emile de Ravin was beautiful — stunning. Girl, you don’t get enough credit, sitting beside your hunky co-star (yep, I said hunky); because as an actress you ROCKED IT. I wish I could give all you guys a hug, the entire cast…but that’s a little personal, huh?

Adeiu, wordpress, I must go visit the neighbors puppies before bed, and get something in my stomach before that.

Goodnight 🙂

Because carleys reminded me. . .

My dream last night was vivid, and very strange.

Of course now I don’t remember it as accurately, but the heavy feelings are definitely still there, and it made my school day today a bit…awkward. There was a lot of build-up to this dream, but I’ll explain all that later.

In my dream, I was dating a friend of mine, we’ll call him Ty. The dating actually started in my dream; I guess he asked me out, or confessed some feelings for me or something (that parts fuzzy). In real life, he’s bisexual, a preference that I could usually care less about — but I have my doubts as to whether or not I could bring myself to date one. There’s just something in me that could maybe deal with the idea of another girl kissing my man, but another man kissing my man? It’s a stretch.

So we were really good friends first, then we were dating, and somehow the dream switched to the inside of an airplane. It was one of those little biplanes you see and hold your breath, hoping they don’t drop out of the sky and land on your house? Yeah, one of dem. He and his father were both pilots, but his dad was better, and we were all flying over…*fuzzy*…having a really good time.

At some point we were back at his house, and his mother pulled me aside, to give me some “lesson” about dating her bisexual son. No real words were exchanged, I don’t think, but she sat me down and forced me to listen to “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” by the Caged Elephants. When the song was halfway over, I got anxious and said something like: “…So can I go now?” and she nodded and said: “I believe we understand each other.”

I don’t remember any details after that, except thinking that his mom is a total bitch (who I’ve never met; he doesn’t even live with his mom in real life!), but the feelings I mentioned before were still vivid. When I woke up I had a mixture of pitiful longing (for both a relationship like that, and a connection to Ty) and confusion. Ty has already gone through being on my “crush” list, and had almost succeeded getting off it. But this dream, plus the way we interacted today, brought those minute feelings back again. And now I have to sit at the table with him every day, and look at him, remember the way I felt in my dream, and imagining “What if that could happen…” But I don’t think so.


It still doesn’t stop my mind from wandering during lunch. :/
I am Amanda, undecided.

relief, in a sea of bad.

Oh, friggin, yeah!

I have FOUR A’s, TWO B’s, and one C. Most people would be like, wow, you have a C…that’s bad. But NO. And that C is in my easiest class, because we had one summative (test) grade that I didn’t turn in. So soon enough I should have FIVE A’s and two B’s, and those are probably the best grades I’ve had in a long, long time.

Okay, I have to go (the bell’s about to ring), but I just wanted to tell you all that 🙂 Even in my AP class — A  90!!


Well, tap my foot…

I’m so pissed off at myself right now. This morning the club that I’m in, called Spearhead — the “ambassadors” of the school — had a meeting where we had pictures taken, AND I DIDN’T GO. My step-sister didn’t leave until 8:15 from the house. The meeting was at 8am


Now my pictures not going to be in the yearbook, which is irritating, but whatever. But I also missed some important information we had to know about upcoming events and meetings.

This day has started out very, very bad.
And it wasn’t even my fault.


A little birdie told me just now that I was the inspiration for her to start her own blog.

Do you know how proud that makes me? A lil bit. Bit of an ego boost, you might say.

I try to get my feelings across and my points made as clearly as possible sometimes; but sometimes I just want to let lose, and not worry about standards or etiquette — ESPECIALLY not on my wordpress. I deal with enough of that at school. Freedom = the internet.

This little birdie is this seriously cool kid I’ve come to know over the last two years, one that is 50x smarter than me, and a whole bunch sweeter, too. She’s the type that would help a poor redneck cross the street, while I’d sit back with my best friend and laugh my ass off because he’s so stupid he keeps bumping into trees. Like Colby. *Ahem*.

I had a great dinner at Cheeseburger Bobby’s in town with said best friend, Katrina, and we went back to her house to chill with her family like I usually do. There are so many advantages of your closest friend having a car — you have no idea. Or maybe you do. Her family is like the family I never had; they fight — of course they do –, but they always go back to loving each other. No year-long grudges. No knife fights. Normal. Imagine that. I’m not jealous of her, but I do envy the relationship she carries with both parents, and the fact that her parents (who’ve raised her from birth) are still together. Whether the father she lives with is blood-related to her or not has never had any impact on the relationship they have, and I envy that too, because my “stepfather” (my mother’s boyfriend) and I have no sort of relationship what. so. ever. We exchange remarks about my mom, and about what’s for dinner (maybe the occasional funny story about the family dog). But other than that, nothing. Not that I’d want to — he’s sort of revolting.

But her dad? Awesome. Mike. And her mother, Kris, is even cooler (but don’t tell him I said that 😉 ) She makes me appreciate the wild nature in adults, and I fear for her whenever she goes in to the doctor for her back, my fear equal to or maybe even a little stronger than that of her own kid! Katrina’s worried sick when it comes to questioning her mom’s health, but so am I.

My little “mental health day” was pretty cool, hanging with Katrina and the sort. Despite the delicious Chicken Finger Tuesday I enjoyed, I was still able to devour Cheeseburger Bobby’s Smokehouse Burger like it was nobody’s business 🙂 Delicious, people, delicious.

But now I must say goodnight, because my eyes are hurting from the screen, and my little fingers are freezing still. I need to turn up the heat, go check my TV recordings, and then get some sleep. I have school tomorrow (getting ^ at around 7:30).

I’m looking forward to my Literature test 🙂 How weird is that.

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