It’s not the dog’s fault.

“you make me fucking sick”

“you are good for nothing”

“so fucking selfish”

“all you think about is yourself”

“you’re a lazy piece of shit”

What a way to spend your afternoon. I get that for not wanting to clean up dog puke after our boxer threw up in the kitchen. I have a weak stomach and there are two men in this house that could do it just fine. But they are so immasculine that I am the one that has to pick all of it up? There’s seven people in this house right now, and the one with the weak stomach to bad smells has to clean it up?

I’m sorry, but just because I refuse to do that, doesn’t mean you talk to your own daughter like that. Yes, my mother said every one of those things to me about ten minutes ago. Ever heard that kind of loving language from your own flesh-and-blood mother? I get it every day, and it’s always for stupid shit like that.

I feel so loved.

And she WONDERS why I want to escape this place. She wonders why I won’t apply to a single college in state: because I don’t want to be in her state! I want to get as far away from Sweetwater Downs, far away from Atlanta, Georgia, and the south. I am going to start a new life far away from her and maybe she’ll realize that, “Hm, I shouldn’t have treated my daughter like this, throwing things at her and calling her a piece of dirt every chance I get, if I really wanted her to stay around.” And by then it’s going to be too late.

I love her, but how am I supposed to put up with something like that? How do you have a self-esteem, how do you have muse to get up and go to school, to write essays and work on a novel when you have someone dragging you down. I am so sick of it.

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