So, it’s 12:00 AM and…

I just got my stuff together.     What stuff? My stuff. My shiz. It’s taken a little while to kick my ass into gear, but a single call home and a long walk in the woods helped shift my consciousness back to Earth.

I sat in my floor surrounded by the messiness that were my folders and my schoolbag, and I ruffled through everything, crumpling up & throwing away all the unnecessary notes & doodles that build up over time (there were alot…trust me…), keeping the important stuff that I need to bring up my grades, and the notes that will help me keep those grades steady once they are brought up. My mother was furious with me yesterday when a certain Chemistry teacher of mine called her saying “Hey..er..Amanda has like a 64 in my class and the grade cut-off is next week so..er…if your daughter doesn’t get her act together, she’s going to fail my class. Here is what she can do to make it up, though she’s known about these assignments for the past two weeks.” But tonight, as I type this, I finally feel like I got through to myself. It wasn’t really the Chemistry teacher that did it, it was time alone with my thoughts without worrying about deadlines, scheduling, conferences, dates, worries, family, relationships; nothing. I got that time today, and it felt great.

For school I have one paper that I need to retype, one that I need to BS my way through (I’m really, really good at that in this particular subject, and it’s due tomorrow so I’ll need to make sure I get THAT done), a Chemistry portfolio that I need to organize (I have all the papers, I just need to put them in order), and last but not least, organize something to do for tomorrow’s campaign in Honors Gov’t. I am running for “governor” of…our..classroom, I guess, and although I’m running against this *cough, cough* ..less intelligent being who doesn’t know the first thing about choices, policies, or politics, if I don’t have anything with my slogan or my face on it tomorrow, I’m going to be up to my eyes in irony. I can see the headline: “Redneck Cody wins because Amanda didn’t anything to show she was really trying to win this”. Plus this whole thing is for a grade, and I really respect that teacher, so I can’t just say “O WELL” and let her down. I  hate people being disappointed in me.

On a lighter note, outside of school, remember that “moment” I talked about earlier?” I had decided that it was a beautiful mid-afternoon day outside and I had the strong urge to go for a walk. But walking around my neighborhood is (A) boring, (B) people just gawk at you like you grew two heads or something because they’re all extremely nosy, (C) repetitive because all my neighborhood does is make loops and couldesacs. So I looked at the woods that surround my hood, and found them much, much more interesting. I walked through one random person’s backyard (they weren’t around/or weren’t home), someone without a fence, and took off through the woods. At first it was difficult to walk through becaue I was wearing heeled shoes and the vegetation gets really thick around the treeline, but after ten minutes or so of walking it cleared out nicely. I kept walking for a good twenty minutes more, following a deer trail, but always going in ONE direction so I knew that if I turned completely on my heels and walked I could walk straight back to my neighborhood. No sense in getting lost ;]

With my neighbor’s faithful labroador retriever at my side, I kept going until I saw a bright clearing through the groves of pine trees. I hauled myself over the biggest fallen tree and there was a meadow! (All Twilight fans can scream.. NOW.) It was beautiful; it was wide and open with no trees. The setting sun hit it directly and you could see butterflies and other little buggies flying around. It smelled like lavendar (probably because the stuff was growing everywhere you could see), and had grasses that came up a little past knee-length. I sat down in the grass for who knows how long, my phone turned off, alone (minus the dog), and just relaxed. I thought about my stories a little, about the fact that I was in a secret place of my own where no one knew where I was and no one could interrupt me. I was smiling alot too, :D.

After an hour or two, the sun was getting so low I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to find my way back home, so I took off through the woods again, walking a straight line home. I’ve only shared this with you. I didn’t tell my parents because they’re the type to be like “Er, okay, that’s cool. Meadow, WHOO.” and laugh at my expense. I love simplicity, a rare form of peace and quiet, good weather and nature. They don’t get it. Not many people do.

I must bid you all a goodnight because I actually have to start on that to do list now. It all doesn’t have to be finished by tomorrow morning, but my day will be alot more stress-free if it is. Goodnight, my luvs.

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